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Help Desk Confessionals

I'm a systems administrator who provides tech support, data analysis, and report generation for about 300 users. No support staff. No other help. Just me.

My Top 10 New Year Resolutions (2005 Edition)

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Working part-time in the fitness industry, we are well-aware of people and their resolutions, because it is how health clubs make their money. Here are some resolutions I am pondering for the new year, fitness and non-fitness related:
  • 10. Instead of giving the finger while driving, flash the "Peace" sign instead.
  • 9. Stop running red lights.
  • 8. Teach Russell algebra. (*My* 16-month old can do it.)
  • 7. Answer the phone at work with "How May I Help You?" instead of "Whaddaya Want?!"
  • 6. Find time at work to pee. Everything else just have to wait.
  • 5. Stop going to work in shorts, even though no one ever sees me under the waist.
  • 4. Limit internet surfing at work to the first six hours. Blogging doesn't count.
  • 3. Stop responding with "sure, fine, whatever"
  • 2. Do at least one set of the abs exercise in my aerobics class.
  • 1. To actually listen while talking on the phone.

posted by Carl from L.A., 2:33 PM | link | 3 comments |

Lennie Briscoe's One Liners

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Jerry Orbach was famous for his one liners as Det. Lennie Briscoe on "Law and Order". Here is a sample:

Black Tie (episode title)
(Viewing a corpse in a tuxedo)
Lennie: Conveniently dressed for his funeral.

Lennie: We don't really give a damn about these people looting and bustin' up people's cars. That's not our department. We're homicide.
Suspect: So?
Lennie: So, your friend there is homicidin' somebody.

Old Friends
Mike (discussing infidelity as a motive for murder): Don't wives always know?
Lennie: Mine did.
Mike: Yours didn't hire a hit man.
Lennie: Not yet.

Coffee cart vendor (deciphering an order for "skinny cap, no lead."): Decaffeinated cappuccino, with skim milk.
Lennie: What's the point?

Lab technician: It's a photocopy from a machine with dirt on the drums...If you get me the machine and it hasn't been serviced, I can maybe do a positive I.D.
Lennie: Oh great. We'll organize a line-up of Xerox machines.

Jerry passed away this morning.

Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 8:44 AM | link | 2 comments |

From the Photo Vault...

Thursday, December 23, 2004

If I remember it correctly, someone tried to pass this somewhere out in the midwest, where George W. could do no wrong. Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 2:35 PM | link | 0 comments |


(I didn't write the caption, but it doesn't surprise me....) Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 2:30 PM | link | 0 comments |

Back when "The X-Files" was good (Seasons 2-5), nothing that's on today comes close to it. "Lost"? Pleeeeeze. Let's see where "Lost" is after five seasons. Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 11:25 AM | link | 0 comments |

Not that I'm a die-hard liberal or anything... Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 11:21 AM | link | 0 comments |

Today's Temperature Around the World

From Yahoo! weather:

Hong Kong 59...76 F
Anchorage, AK 9...40 F
Bismarck, ND* -10...0 F
Detroit, MI 9...26 F
Ellsworth, ME* 37...48 F
Evanston, WY -2...11 F
Hamden, CT* 29...57 F
Ladysmith, WI* -15...2 F
Los Angeles, CA* 42...66 F
Adelanto, CA* 23...51 F

Observation: It's colder in North Dakota, Wisconsin, Wyoming and Michigan than in Alaska today.
posted by Carl from L.A., 9:56 AM | link | 0 comments |

Picture of the Mansion

Monday, December 06, 2004

A photo of what my house would look like. (This is a similar one.) Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 9:39 AM | link | 0 comments |

The Mansion

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Our new house, to be completed in April 2005. Posted by Hello
posted by Carl from L.A., 9:13 AM | link | 2 comments |

Thanksgiving? What Thanksgiving?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

So we have a buyer for our house. We actually had two buyers submitting offers concurrently which meant that we could be less flexible about our terms and one of the two buyers accepted. Cool! We sold our house in just one week.

I guess Lori really can't wait to move because she started packing already. Mind you, our new house may not be ready until April 2005, and she has already packed 20-30 boxes of stuff. I really hope that we wouldn't need anything that we have already packed, because I wouldn't know where to find it.

We spent most of the Thanksgiving weekend packing.
posted by Carl from L.A., 4:49 PM | link | 0 comments |