Help Desk Confessionals

Working part-time in the fitness industry, we are well-aware of people and their resolutions, because it is how health clubs make their money. Here are some resolutions I am pondering for the new year, fitness and non-fitness related:

• 10. Instead of giving the finger while driving, flash the "Peace" sign instead.
• 9. Stop running red lights.
• 8. Teach Russell algebra. (*My* 16-month old can do it.)
• 7. Answer the phone at work with "How May I Help You?" instead of "Whaddaya Want?!"
• 6. Find time at work to pee. Everything else just have to wait.
• 5. Stop going to work in shorts, even though no one ever sees me under the waist.
• 4. Limit internet surfing at work to the first six hours. Blogging doesn't count.
• 3. Stop responding with "sure, fine, whatever"
• 2. Do at least one set of the abs exercise in my aerobics class.
• 1. To actually listen while talking on the phone.

Jerry Orbach was famous for his one liners as Det. Lennie Briscoe on "Law and Order". Here is a sample:

Black Tie (episode title)
(Viewing a corpse in a tuxedo)
Lennie: Conveniently dressed for his funeral.

Sanctuary
Lennie: We don't really give a damn about these people looting and bustin' up people's cars. That's not our department. We're homicide.
Suspect: So?
Lennie: So, your friend there is homicidin' somebody.

Old Friends
Mike (discussing infidelity as a motive for murder): Don't wives always know?
Lennie: Mine did.
Mike: Yours didn't hire a hit man.
Lennie: Not yet.

Scoundrel
Coffee cart vendor (deciphering an order for "skinny cap, no lead."): Decaffeinated cappuccino, with skim milk.
Lennie: What's the point?

Progenitor
Lab technician: It's a photocopy from a machine with dirt on the drums...If you get me the machine and it hasn't been serviced, I can maybe do a positive I.D.
Lennie: Oh great. We'll organize a line-up of Xerox machines.

Jerry passed away this morning.

If I remember it correctly, someone tried to pass this somewhere out in the midwest, where George W. could do no wrong. 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

(I didn't write the caption, but it doesn't surprise me....)

Back when "The X-Files" was good (Seasons 2-5), nothing that's on today comes close to it. "Lost"? Pleeeeeze. Let's see where "Lost" is after five seasons. 

Not that I'm a die-hard liberal or anything... 

From Yahoo! weather:

Hong Kong 59...76 F
Anchorage, AK 9...40 F
Bismarck, ND* -10...0 F
Detroit, MI 9...26 F
Ellsworth, ME* 37...48 F
Evanston, WY -2...11 F
Hamden, CT* 29...57 F
Ladysmith, WI* -15...2 F
Los Angeles, CA* 42...66 F
Adelanto, CA* 23...51 F

Observation: It's colder in North Dakota, Wisconsin, Wyoming and Michigan than in Alaska today.

A photo of what my house would look like. (This is a similar one.) 

Our new house, to be completed in April 2005. 

So we have a buyer for our house. We actually had two buyers submitting offers concurrently which meant that we could be less flexible about our terms and one of the two buyers accepted. Cool! We sold our house in just one week.

I guess Lori really can't wait to move because she started packing already. Mind you, our new house may not be ready until April 2005, and she has already packed 20-30 boxes of stuff. I really hope that we wouldn't need anything that we have already packed, because I wouldn't know where to find it.

We spent most of the Thanksgiving weekend packing.